Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize