I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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