What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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