you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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