Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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