I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
