Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
