there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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