Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
