omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize