Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
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