So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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