doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
