Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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