At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
