i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
