I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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