Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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