Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
