It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
