Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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