I think my vagina is haunted
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
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