i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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