I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
