yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
