soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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