Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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