I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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