god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
