So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
