they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Randomize
