she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
