this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
