I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
