Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
