Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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