If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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