and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
