so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
