guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
