apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
