shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
