i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
