this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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