Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
