Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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