Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
