If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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