either way he was missing a nipple.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
