I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
