Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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