i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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