why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
