Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
