69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
he thought i was a dude.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I need moral support for this bender
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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