i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
