So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
