I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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