She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
